A walk down the Jennism memory lane...
on the youth of the body
Jenn: He's 32
Amanda: oohhhh, I love men in their thirties
Jenn: Yeah...I love men who are 21. They don't have any appeal until you are ten years older than them.
on working with your body
Jenn
regarding babies & age: You hit thirty and your body is like "I
don't care what you think...I'm having one...I'll kill you if we don't."
on dealing with your body
"Everytime
I look up hot flashes they talk about menopause. Aren't there other
ways to have hot flashes? Do I have menopause? If I have menopause I'm
going to lose it. Lose it." -Jenn
on lending a hand
Jenn: I'm realizing it's a bad idea to date guys in their thirties. I mean...why are they still single?
Amanda: But guys in their twenties suck.
Jenn: Yeah, but you get one then and take them by the hand through their suckiness and into the nice thirties.
on little people
"I've been around kids when they don't listen...it makes you want to die." -jenn
on eharmony dot com
Jenn composing a first email to an internet boy:
Do you travel? Do you speak english fluently? How do you like Argentina? Is it cold there? Are you wearing a winter coat? -Jenn
on morality
"Stop being a nice girl and going to church and go watch your horrifying tv show!" -Jenn
on straightman cohabitation
Jenn: It must be different when its two guys living together...
Amanda: Yeah, they wouldn't even know each other was there. Like, "there's another person here? I thought that that pile of junk was moving because my three week old hamburger was growing things..."
Jenn: Boys are so gross.
on approaching the opposite sex
Jenn: I was thinking about a new plan to pick up men.
Amanda: mmhmm
Jenn: When I see one in the gym I could go up to him and say "Man, you're in great shape! How'd you get in such great shape?"
Amanda: Ahahahah, that would totally work! You should. Oh, please Jenn do!
Jenn: I can't
Amanda: Yeah, you'd freeze up and start giggling halfway through
Jenn: Yeah...I'd just run up and hand him a note..."here's a note...this is how I feel...you're sexy..."
on storytelling
"A bad memory is great for storytelling...it's like...hey, this one time I learned this thing about this place...yeah...I don't really remember what it was though.--I'm so awesome."
on superbowl commercials 2007
Next thing you know they'll have commercials that are just porn...people having sex in the background and in the foreground it'll say "brought to you by Motorola"
on household chores
"So, I don't take the garbage out on my way out the door, because I have my keys in my hand. But my brother was yelling at me to take it out. So I took the garbage out and guess what I threw down the garbage chute? ...Not the garbage."
on dating foreign men
"I felt like we were teenagers again. He was so cute and we held hands all the time...and so what if we didn't have anything to talk about...and every conversation ends abruptly with akward silence...like being back in high school...yeah"
I definitely miss this. Jenn, please move to Colorado.
