To understand the current, ongoing entries in this slightly sarcastic, perhaps mean blog, you should first read the introductory blog entry. Click here to do that.
*Please also note our promise: if you are awesome, we will not make fun of you on this blog. We've emailed multiple men back and haven't written anything unflattering about them--as they were funny and interesting and respectful and know how to spell.
See below for recent fun-poking:
no thanks!
Dear Bob,
The fact that you even wrote this email makes it very clear to me that you can do better than us. Obviously.
Love,
Gigi
I would like to preface the below by saying that I was going to (very generously, mind you) ignore X's quirks for the most part. The only mention I made of him, post-meeting, was brief and can be found here: This is Why I'm Hott. Not at all as insulting as I could be.
But, he couldn't leave well enough alone. And, after a very short and sweet email (which I have shown you below) letting him down as nicely as possible, he retorted with a vengeance.
Please note, before reading the following, that I did not want to be mean to X. He left me without a choice.
The string:
Dear X,
It was nice to meet you as well. We both had a nice time, but I'm afraid that neither of us felt that there was chemistry there. We wish you the absolute best and thanks for a nice night.
G:
Then why did you email me after the date asking to you out again? Frankly, I thought you were a little screwy, but I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt since you asked for a second date. I believe that is what you would call the "craigslist pity date". Otherwise, I probably would not have called you again.
Dear X,
The above rejection was as kind as we could come up with. I’m sorry if you still couldn’t let go without one final jab.
I would like to note that every email you received was from both of us—so why are you so mad at me? Hmm. I’m sorry that your crush on me didn’t work out. Why don’t you go cry to your mommy?
P.S. In your head, I wanted a second date. In my head, thanking you for dinner and saying it was nice to meet you was us attempting to be really nice to someone socially retarded, because we pity you and, I don’t believe that pity-daters call and email in an attempt to reach me within 24 hours of the original date. In Roommate #1’s head, the vague reference to maybe someday hanging out (which was her idea at all) would boost your poor, poor little confidence.
As a final note, A, who we love, is willing to offer you lessons on interacting with women. He does say, however, that he requires your private jet as a down payment.
Think about it.
I believe this is this first time I've ever seen this. I just moved to Colorado from NC a little over a week ago. I would have to talk to my roomate about this. I would love to talk to roomate #1 ( long hair) Sorry # 2, she just seems more like my type (outdoorsy) I'm 25 myself, if nothing else it would be great to hang out, since i don't really know anyone yet. thanks for your time.
Dear Poor Orphan Child,
I am very sorry to hear that you were raised in a barn and without your mother. You could have used a good boisterous mother to teach you some simple lessons about a thing that we call tact. Since you have obviously been so terribly deprived of these lessons, allow me to teach you:
1. It is not now, nor has it ever been okay, for you to insult the friend of the girl you would like to date. Case in point: I spent a day with a man in Virginia, who spent almost the entire time telling me how much he hated one of my best friends. In your world, perhaps this guy would have gotten kissed. In my world, he got the cold shoulder. From both of us. The lesson you should learn from this, poor orphan child, is that you should always be nice. As you would not like to talk to me, I am afraid that neither of us would like to talk to you.
2. Unfortunately for you, it is also not okay to make assumptions. Assuming that, because the ad didn’t say that I like hiking and biking does not mean that I do not like those things. I don’t assume that your six-line email means that you do not like California, dogs, football or mint chocolate chip ice cream, just because you didn’t mention it. What I do assume is that you have spent the greater part of your life in a barn in North Carolina, teaching yourself social etiquette, and, sadly, failing.
Again, I am sorry for your sad motherless existence. We pity you.
Too bad for you…neither of us do pity dates.
